Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
