i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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