the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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