JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
