walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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