that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
