dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Walk of Shame today included voting.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
