so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize