I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
one might say we're banned from that church
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
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