I was born with a shot glass in my hand
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize