you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
