pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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