Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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