What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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