Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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