I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
