quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Come see our sink grown plant.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro