did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
