Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize