think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
