found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
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She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
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This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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