apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
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