get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
