And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
