Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
