The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
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