i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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