No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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