Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
We had sex on a dog bed..
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
