I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
