One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
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