operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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