needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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