I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
So many bounce houses so little time
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
