Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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