Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
