When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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