I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
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