I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
We have so much sex to catch up on
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
