Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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