you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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