I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize