I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize