Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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