Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Vodka?
Forever.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
