my room smells like sperm. sweet.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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