"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
