R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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