So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
