...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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