you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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