Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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