How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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