the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
